This is really fun!

I pulled myself out of bed at 5:20am, it was still dark...a sign fall is creeping on in minute by minute. Walking downtown was peaceful, as I finally headed out the door at 6:15am, I did see some of the preparation behind the scenes. Sheriff Department Buses idled quietly behind the state capital building, ready just in case. A few roadways were blocked, but it business as usual until I reached the 16th Street Mall. Then it was clear something big was waking up with the morning sun. If the last few days were about establishing a police presence, today was about the street merchant setting up shop, everywhere there was an open space.

I headed to the Big Tent and arrived on time to the first day excitement and chaos which quickly settled down. I was moved from compost to kitchen, there I "cut the cheese" with Johan from South Africa, who looked much like John Kennedy and now resides in Boulder, Dave who lived in New York, retired and lives in Santa Fe with his wife, who also volunteered and Mary, the Realtor from northwest Denver. We all talked about priorities for the party, what we would do and how much we enjoyed helping out in some small way.

If you have a moment, check out the agenda @ www.bigtentdenver.org. An impressive array of speakers awaits you as you check out the topics, which I found to be forward, exact and quite compelling. After I was switched back to compost detail, I made it up the speakers tent and heard these very eloquent experts:


Van Jones is the founder and president of Green For All
Dave McCurdy , president and CEO of The Alliance of Automobile Manufacturers

Panel Discussion on reducing the gasoline usage in America, by actions such as filling vehicles' tires properly, getting engines tuned, replacing air filters and avoiding speeding. EcoDriving is dedicated to help all Americans learn how to take simple steps to increase their mileage and reduce their carbon footprint immediately. Green For All is dedicated to building an inclusive green economy strong enough to lift people out of poverty.

A familiar point was made that many of you might that maybe we should just give the money directly to people who need it. Van Jones spoke of the Vulture Culture, move from burning dead things to using living resources like wind and solar. Not a big fan of let's consider all sources of power, he likened that strategy to going to the doctor seeking treatment and being told you can have all treatments at the same time. He believes that anything that burns carbon has to go soon. Beware of dirty green tactics....those who say their green, but not...New

Celebrity sightings: Rev.Dr. Michael Beckwith, from movie/book: The Secret and Darryl Hannah,who looked great.

New Belgium Beer bought a bunch of the free bikes around town, so drink up! Love that Fat Tire Ale!!

The SWAT guys were flashing peace signs today much less tense. The protesters came in waves down the mall, but not a problem. Although, a friend said folks in her apartment complex had their tires slashed, if you had an SUV you had all four tires slashed.

I find I am drawn to the excitement, lingering downtown as long as I felt I could without totally ignoring the rest of my life. My intention is to spend as much time downtown as I can.

Look forward to hearing Ted Kennedy tonight, hope to see him on Wednesday at the disability forum.

There is so much discussion and information, access to everyone is secure and open. I know a few ladies who attended a forum on Women's issues with Nancy Pelossi, so access to folks is much greater than I expected. Speaking of access, at the Big Tent, I met Gerry, who is visually impaired and has his own business as a coffee roaster, the name of his Boulder based business, The Unseen Bean. Very cool.

Very cool times, still hope to have pictures up later.

Paradox lives and breathes in Denver

The city welcomed DNC delegates with tornadoes to the south and Bronco orange sunsets to the west. The protesters missed about 18,000 of their projected numbers, fears of violence with the 2,000 that did march brought out the military helicopters, gun doors open and national guard soldiers taking a long view. Nothing but peace to report at the moment. People of all kinds where smiling, driving with the windows down, two guys from California talked to me for a block, asking for directions and just smiling big and broad happy to be here.

The large contingency of officers, SWAT teams, medics on bikes all seemed to relax a bit today. Smiles could be seen peaking out from under motorcycle helmets, even the SWAT swagger seemed more toned down. Up near Civic Center Park on Colfax, under the plum trees by one of the state buildings, young semi-hippy men climbed trees to get the just ripe fruit throwing it down to the small crowd below. The numbers were small, but present mostly antiwar protesters.

The bars and restaurants seemed busier today, but not full. You could still find parking and a table near the front if you wanted it. That will most likely change later on tonight.

I head to the Big Tent at 7am. It is sponsored by: The Alliance for a Sustainable Colorado, Progess Now and Daily Koz, which has 600,000 hits per day. Google has a large presence there. It is non-partisan and we are there to be helpful and my particular job is on the green team, composting, I believe.

I have to say, I am unexpectedly drawn to the palpable excitement. It isn't just knowing history is in the making, it is feeling it. Wow.

Bye for now, have to be up and out by 6am.

Men in Black

This afternoon. after facilitating a board retreat for the Colorado Author's League, I headed downtown to my favorite little coffee shop on the 16th Street mall. There, my most favorite barista of all time was steaming coffee, stretching the milk precisely and expertly. Did you know that you stretch the milk to bring out the sweetness? When I looked at her behind the bar, I wasn't sure if the steam rising was just coming from the coffee or not. Perhaps, the milk wasn't the only thing being stretched.

Finding parking was not as difficult as expected, many stores were not filled with customers but were actually sporting handmade signs announcing large discounts on merchandise. I am sure large bands of heavily armored muscled men might have a some effect on impulse purchases, restaurants were steady, but not rushed. A few drunk kids found themselves escorted to the paddy wagon headed down to detox at Denver Health, where my friend Bert, the former Judo champion works and will be waiting tomorrow for a few more guests.

I wore my cute, colorful skirt, little heels and my giant silver peace necklace and just kind of held court as folks came by to share the latest rumors on protests and fears. Looking on the mall, I noticed the usual benches where folks typically gathered that were not anchored down had been removed, trash cans had been replaced with disposable cardboard boxes.

Probably the most disturbing moment happened when my African American friend handed me a brochure espousing that freedom for Negroes was a mistake and how Christians might want to rethink slavery....that was pretty darn weird among other adjectives I could use. Flyers were distributed by young and some times awkward men and women noting dates and times for protests.


While sipping my chai, talk of fear and hope floated in the air. It can be tempting to talk up the drama of the moment, excitement mixed with anxiety intoxicating, but in my opinion, discipline will be required of us not to feed the fear monster. My thought is to starve the beast and feed the future with hope and optimism, even in spite of or because of the men in black.

And, what do you believe? Not sure, what about a check-up?

If there is a center to our universe, it lies in what we believe. Thus, whatever transpires in our minds, materializes in our lives. Believing in the power to transform lives, to seek peace and to achieve goals all require two things:

1. Making a choice.
2. Giving ourselves permission to move past our insecurities and doubts. My grandson called those doubts, the "Cranking Noise". He just tells the Noise to go take a nap! It must work his knows all of US Presidents, in order. Just got his orange belt and best of the best in Tae Kwon Do. Like my grandson, we can tell our fears to take a nap and we can learn to invite, allow and accept, peace of mind into our circle of beliefs. Then we can dwell comfortably in the house of abundance, rather than the house of pain.

The Six Questions

Most of us have never asked ourselves these questions. We don’t necessarily learn the questions, or for that matter, the answers from our parents, teachers or friends. These questions take some time to really answer. So, go over them at least six times—going deeper each time. Ask yourself, how do you know what you believe is true? Ask yourself is that the way you really want to believe? Could you have it your way, how would it be if you were running the show? Also, ask yourself—am I willing to let go of any of these beliefs and perceptions, if they are not longer working for me?

1. What do you believe about trust??? When do you give it? When do others begin to trust you?
2. How do you measure success? Do you believe there is never a failure or do you believe there is rarely a success?
3. Does work have to be hard? Can it be fun? Can it be effortless?
4. What do you believe about time?? Is there never enough? Will you always have just what you need to get the job done?
5. Think about what you believe about relationships. Is there such a thing as a lifelong relationship? Is life a solitary event or something in between?
6. What role do play and relaxation have in your life? Is it important to start taking care of yourself first or should you be last on your list?

I have recently been doing this inventory. Like a check-up at the Doctor's office, I think we need to regular schedule time to conduct a beliefs check-up ans see how we spend our time and money...that usually tells us what we believe and gives us clues on what we need to change! Happy check-up. Keep in mind, the larger the gap between what we believe and how we act the more stress we experience!!

Ebb and Flow of Community

Still, I am capable of surprise. Still, I find myself intrigued by how communities form, change and ultimately evolve.

My daughter Mikelle's community changes and evolves we have discovered, growing and strengthening with each incarnation. Mikelle has a physical disability, she uses a wheelchair, a communication device known as Dynavox and lives on her own, with the support of her community, which as I have said evolves and changes in interesting and sometimes unanticipated ways.

Surprising to me is how organic communities are, even when planned and intended. People change in ways not expected, mostly for the good in our case, but not always. People fall in love, lose interest, gain commitment, need adventure, come back and ultimately everyone grows.

Some folks play a central role, like myself, although I see a day when my role will be left of center, on the fringes and other people with move into the middle of my daughter's life.

Right now, we are in a letting go and growing phase. A few people are leaving for short adventures, some moving on entirely and others just entering. It has a magical alchemical element, this community building. And, I love the view from this point in life, where I still can be surprised and intrigued.

Victory Gardens

So today the price of oil continues to escalate, driving up the price of food, driving and purchased goods. This rise shows no sign up stopping, if anything getting worse. As a concerned citizen how do you respond to this?

Well I will show you how some have chosen to combat the problem and turned it into an amazing solution. One that helps save money, increase health and potentially build community. Gardens, simple solution, yeah. During WWII they were called Victory Gardens, now they are called community gardens or just food gardens. They have begun springing up in yards, vacant lots and hopefully soon a rooftop near you.

What I love about community gardening is that the person growing the food, is out and about meeting the neighbors and friends and the kids are running around having a great time playing in the dirt or a nearby playground.



As a previous job I worked for Denver Urban Gardens (DUG), there I worked as an intern for two summers. While in the job I was greeted daily by people less fortunate having a hand in harvesting their dinner, children playing with worms and even an old man who because of his wheelchair had not been able to garden for ten years (until DUG built him a raised bed).

I know that gardens are nothing new or innovative, yet there is something awe inspiring in watching a community come together, especially because the one we fight we help build everyday driving through our daily lives.

I highly recommend checking out DUG's website: www.dug.org and in addition here is a great article from this weekends Denver Post: http://www.denverpost.com/lifestyles/ci_9544778

What's Love?

To dovetail on to your piece on families, I find that we are growing and changing into new family structures connected through common interests in an uncommon way. Friendships like ours that span generations feel more comfortable than more traditional groupings.

What draws people together to form some unlikely families of choice? I think it things like common interests and activities but, I think it is much more. It is a new vision with inspires people to be there best selves.

While I am still an undecided in the Democratic race for President. I can't help but admire Barack Obama's ability to bring people together that until recently might not have even shared a cup of coffee. What are the common denominators? Being valued and recognized for individual and collective contributions, perhaps the focus on making the world a better place and having a voice. Clearly imagination and inspiration are the fuels that feed and energize communities allowing them the opportunity of possibility. Love of purpose and love of each other is the result. We do our best work, be our best self when we are part of a supportive community. I am fortunate to belong to such a community---new rules for a new world.

Our New Families

What is the role of family today and what does the family look like? Are families purely those people related by blood, or is there something deeper beneath the surface that ties us and binds us to others? In my opinion these connections not drawn in blood can be infinitely more important and offer so much more.

These friends and lovers can be in our lives for years or just for a day and the connection or experience will impact our lives forever. In the past year I have experienced so many new levels of family. I have lived abroad with a group of people that I had never met and built bonds of friendship that few will ever understand. I have nurtured friendships with a group here in Denver so vastly different in ages, abilities, culture and beliefs; in the process my life has been changed, enriched and enlightened. I also was invited into the lives of family already in the works and shared and built a life with them; the experience took me to places in my soul that I had no idea existed and helped me find a future in who I am and who I can be to others.

These relationships have changed who I am and on a daily basis see these new families being built by friends and strangers alike. For you, who are people that make up your new families and how do you celebrate the new bonds of love and friendship?

what happens when love is incompatible with life

What are the lessons in a relationship where the love is strong and amazing, yet there are circumstances that will forever keep the two people apart? Is it past relationships that have repercussions into the new relationship, is it age, is it distance?

I have recently felt this loss, where the love was incredible, yet the situation would never be one where we could be together. With the realization that things could never work, I think I broke my own heart.

I have a friend, her true love and father to her children lives apart from them in a once war torn country. They are separated by distance and duty, their daughters will never really know their father and perhaps she will never know another true love.

It is sad for me to know and experience these stories of love lost and I wonder:

What is the lesson and what is gained from our inability to experience that reciprocated love every day?

Do Men Teach Men to be Better Men or Do Women?

I would like to know what other folks think about this. In part, because as any individual, my observations are limited to the circle and the community I am a part of and that usually in some way reflects what I believe.

My personal observation is that women teach men about women. And, they teach them how to treat women from a very young age. I have noted in my circle that boys raised by single women often are better gentlemen. Because single moms often expect their sons to share in household responsibilities they are more comfortable doing things that were once, and in some cases, considered women's work.

Beyond these superficial aspects of household contributions, which are nonetheless important, without the buffer of a husband, a son sees how women respond to life's victories and its challenges. Single parenting isn't easy and these boys often grow up with an appreciation of women's contributions. They see the emotional side of women and learn how they think. Often, if the relationship is healthy and the bond between parent and child strong, mutual growth and understanding occurs, both the mother and son become better people. Boundaries and communication abilities are established that sometimes a two parent family overlooks.

I know in my circle, some of the best young gentlemen where raised by single moms. What do you think?

The Decline of the Gentleman...

I recently wrote about the decline of the gentleman, since that time I have spoken to people about this decline and continue to wonder how it impacts us all. The breakdown exists on all levels, girlfriends to boyfriends, husbands to wives, parents to children and from the lack of societal expectations. As I said before some women have lowered their expectations and men have forgotten (or never new how in the first place as it may seem).

If my father would not have done these acts of being a gentleman and my mother would not have pointed them out to me, then I would have never known that I was missing something (because they do not show manners in movies these days). I realize that because I was expected to do these things and now I expect myself to always show up I expect the same from others, perhaps unfairly.

Now we lack this basic characteristic in many men, and there is no clear villain, there is just a breakdown in a transfer of values from one generation to another and a society that let them pass. My question is now: how do we fill this void, how do we teach so many men to step up, act courteous and be the men that women deserve? And how do we teach women that they are missing something?

Holding Space and Gaining Experience

How common is it to hold space for someone you care about? How many of us are really willing to let someone follow their heart when it takes them away from us?

Habits, routines and the simple joys of friendship are missed when people in our lives attend to their own growth as they pursue their desires for self-expression and adventure. Too often, we want to hold onto a relationship rather than hold space for it.

Frequently, a hostage situation occurs when one person's need for growth is to threatening and fearful to another. Gripping on to the relationship because of fear of change holds everyone hostage and ultimately, accomplishes nothing. Selfishly, we don't want to lose the time and experiences shared. When the person is significant to us, we miss them and feel their absence.

Yet, holding the space is a tangible sign of trust. I trust you to do what you need to do, I trust you to honor our relationship and I trust to you to come back and I trust that if you don't return it is for a good reason.

And, upon your return, so much new is added back into the rich soil of relationships providing new growth for all those connected in the web of friendship.

Holding the Space

I think that in life sometimes we forget how interconnected we are to each other. Whether it is within our families, our communities, our workplaces or just plainly the personal webs that subconsciously weave on a daily basis. These webs that we weave are with us always, even in our most intimate relationships. Even amongst two people, these connections tie us and bind us; whether it is children, family, friends, best friends or co-workers all our relationships are inter-connected. Our relationships ripple into the lives of friends, family, even the stranger on the bus. The ripple effect is easily forgotten, the person who you normally see on a daily basis in now regularly absent and their phone calls have ceased as well. It is so easy to forget that your actions or inactions radiate into other peoples lives. This is just one example, there are so many others of how we all connect, how we give and take.

For me, the best gift that was given was having friends hold my space in the world for me. Hopefully their wait was worth it and I am more educated, experienced and open to the world again.

Accept Less Instead of Expect More?

Ian, my friend, your wisdom weaves through piles of disappointments, stacked up by decades of wondering what happened to the greatness of a gentle "man". That quiet strength that holds the space for a woman to be her best self--thus reflecting the brightness of his best self.

I have to wonder why men and women are showing up to their relationships with their less than their best selves. Perhaps, the relationship we to have first is the relationship with ourself. Do women trust themselves to expect and get the best? Or, do we think this is as good as we can get? If so, at what age, what point in life, do we accept less instead of expect more?

I think too often, women are so afraid of being alone or maybe it is the dread shouldering the full responsibility of their lives whether as a student, career woman and/or parent, that we often end up accepting less than the best. Fear mixed with not thinking or knowing you deserve better might be at least a good starting point. Plus, we are just so good at making excuses for bad behavior.

Where are the expectations for men in a relationship?

Women should have the confidence to ask for a great man: a man who will dress well, open your car door or restaurant door for you, listen to you talk and hear what you are saying. I am not saying that men have dropped the ball, I am more saying that men have forgotten common courtesy and decent manners. As a man I can tell you that we have been let off the hook, there is no longer the expectation that we will come on a date acting as a gentleman, and when we do it is always a surprise. No one is holding us accountable for being a gentleman, and that is a shame because all women deserve to be swept off their feet and treated with great respect.

What Will be Required of Us?

A smile. What I know is that I like smiles, genuine, open easy smiles. Laughter that dances off the lips of a great smile that changes a life in a moment of unexpected joy. Everyday, we are confronted with the choice of bitter or better. What will be required of us as we continue this theme of being a better human is looking for the better way. The better way to be a citizen, a friend, a neighbor and be better in all of our relationships.

As a woman of a certain age, which incidentally is a wonderful age, the years have often piled up a few tears. Women my age, often show up in life with baggage and feel they have nothing left to give...they gave it all way. To the job, to their children, to their boyfriend, husband or a cause they care about, but they forget themselves, leaving them empty...bitter or better?? Bitterness can take a big bite, so even if there isn't much left to give we need to find a smile deep down on that day when life seems overwhelming and give it to that person who seems to need that parking space a little more than we do.

And, perhaps, we just need to look in the mirror and instead of looking what we don't like--we look and see just how amazing we really are. That simple act can be the thing to set a chain of events is the better way, not the bitter way.

If I think I am amazing, I will probably see that you are incredible.

Three things of interest to think about this year.

First, electing a new president. If you as many of the voters in Iowa are facing today are not sure who you will vote for, here is a site to give you some assistance: Glassbooth

Second, global warming, not that you should give excessive thought to this subject, but if you are wavering check out this video (it will take ten minutes of your time): The Most Terrifying Video You'll Ever See

Third, as the previous posts talk about, here is a band out of Argentina that is asking their fans to volunteer a day of their time to help out an organization. Volunteering from unusual places

This year, let's ask the hard questions. What are we going to do to make things better? Whether that is making someones day better by paying their toll on the tollway, or shoveling a driveway, or even volunteering abroad. I know that sometimes I lose sight of how to help, always thinking about the perfect big way to help, in the process forgetting to hold the door open for the woman behind me. This is a time to make your impact; small, big, local or worldwide.

Simplicity

Ahhh, have we arrived at the time in our evolution when gift giving is not about going into debt to pay for things people really don't want or need. Perhaps, the Christ we seek to celebrate in the holidays is not found between the walls of the mall, but in the simple acts of kindness like your dad and mom have decided upon. Perhaps, a Christmas that is not just a single day event, but a commitment to build a network of support within a community...no expectations, no negotiations, no Christmas at a discount, no sale price on the hard work shoveling everyone's drive way by hand and back. An environmentally friendly gift and good exercise to boot!

My holiday gift was the caring for my daughter Mikelle. On Sunday, sharp pain began shooting up a muscle hugging the highway of her twisted spine. I went to her home to help sooth her discomfort, the help was temporary. The thought of an emergency room visit floated through my mind, like the snowflakes blanketing the ground outside, fear began to blanket my spirits.

And, so she came home with me, slept on my couch and proceeded to catch one heck of cold--she passed that on to me, a gift to slow me down so I could think about the new year.

But, the ultimate gift I receive from Mikelle is the courage it takes to live each day from a wheelchair and the gift I gave her was trust. She knew I would be there when she needed me, even though she has moved out, owns her own condo--there are just time when you need your mom.

You and I have nurtured the idea of new communities growing organically, it makes sense that Christmas would not reflect Christmas of old, but the simple unselfish gifts which no one told us to buy.