And, what do you believe? Not sure, what about a check-up?

If there is a center to our universe, it lies in what we believe. Thus, whatever transpires in our minds, materializes in our lives. Believing in the power to transform lives, to seek peace and to achieve goals all require two things:

1. Making a choice.
2. Giving ourselves permission to move past our insecurities and doubts. My grandson called those doubts, the "Cranking Noise". He just tells the Noise to go take a nap! It must work his knows all of US Presidents, in order. Just got his orange belt and best of the best in Tae Kwon Do. Like my grandson, we can tell our fears to take a nap and we can learn to invite, allow and accept, peace of mind into our circle of beliefs. Then we can dwell comfortably in the house of abundance, rather than the house of pain.

The Six Questions

Most of us have never asked ourselves these questions. We don’t necessarily learn the questions, or for that matter, the answers from our parents, teachers or friends. These questions take some time to really answer. So, go over them at least six times—going deeper each time. Ask yourself, how do you know what you believe is true? Ask yourself is that the way you really want to believe? Could you have it your way, how would it be if you were running the show? Also, ask yourself—am I willing to let go of any of these beliefs and perceptions, if they are not longer working for me?

1. What do you believe about trust??? When do you give it? When do others begin to trust you?
2. How do you measure success? Do you believe there is never a failure or do you believe there is rarely a success?
3. Does work have to be hard? Can it be fun? Can it be effortless?
4. What do you believe about time?? Is there never enough? Will you always have just what you need to get the job done?
5. Think about what you believe about relationships. Is there such a thing as a lifelong relationship? Is life a solitary event or something in between?
6. What role do play and relaxation have in your life? Is it important to start taking care of yourself first or should you be last on your list?

I have recently been doing this inventory. Like a check-up at the Doctor's office, I think we need to regular schedule time to conduct a beliefs check-up ans see how we spend our time and money...that usually tells us what we believe and gives us clues on what we need to change! Happy check-up. Keep in mind, the larger the gap between what we believe and how we act the more stress we experience!!

Ebb and Flow of Community

Still, I am capable of surprise. Still, I find myself intrigued by how communities form, change and ultimately evolve.

My daughter Mikelle's community changes and evolves we have discovered, growing and strengthening with each incarnation. Mikelle has a physical disability, she uses a wheelchair, a communication device known as Dynavox and lives on her own, with the support of her community, which as I have said evolves and changes in interesting and sometimes unanticipated ways.

Surprising to me is how organic communities are, even when planned and intended. People change in ways not expected, mostly for the good in our case, but not always. People fall in love, lose interest, gain commitment, need adventure, come back and ultimately everyone grows.

Some folks play a central role, like myself, although I see a day when my role will be left of center, on the fringes and other people with move into the middle of my daughter's life.

Right now, we are in a letting go and growing phase. A few people are leaving for short adventures, some moving on entirely and others just entering. It has a magical alchemical element, this community building. And, I love the view from this point in life, where I still can be surprised and intrigued.

Victory Gardens

So today the price of oil continues to escalate, driving up the price of food, driving and purchased goods. This rise shows no sign up stopping, if anything getting worse. As a concerned citizen how do you respond to this?

Well I will show you how some have chosen to combat the problem and turned it into an amazing solution. One that helps save money, increase health and potentially build community. Gardens, simple solution, yeah. During WWII they were called Victory Gardens, now they are called community gardens or just food gardens. They have begun springing up in yards, vacant lots and hopefully soon a rooftop near you.

What I love about community gardening is that the person growing the food, is out and about meeting the neighbors and friends and the kids are running around having a great time playing in the dirt or a nearby playground.



As a previous job I worked for Denver Urban Gardens (DUG), there I worked as an intern for two summers. While in the job I was greeted daily by people less fortunate having a hand in harvesting their dinner, children playing with worms and even an old man who because of his wheelchair had not been able to garden for ten years (until DUG built him a raised bed).

I know that gardens are nothing new or innovative, yet there is something awe inspiring in watching a community come together, especially because the one we fight we help build everyday driving through our daily lives.

I highly recommend checking out DUG's website: www.dug.org and in addition here is a great article from this weekends Denver Post: http://www.denverpost.com/lifestyles/ci_9544778

What's Love?

To dovetail on to your piece on families, I find that we are growing and changing into new family structures connected through common interests in an uncommon way. Friendships like ours that span generations feel more comfortable than more traditional groupings.

What draws people together to form some unlikely families of choice? I think it things like common interests and activities but, I think it is much more. It is a new vision with inspires people to be there best selves.

While I am still an undecided in the Democratic race for President. I can't help but admire Barack Obama's ability to bring people together that until recently might not have even shared a cup of coffee. What are the common denominators? Being valued and recognized for individual and collective contributions, perhaps the focus on making the world a better place and having a voice. Clearly imagination and inspiration are the fuels that feed and energize communities allowing them the opportunity of possibility. Love of purpose and love of each other is the result. We do our best work, be our best self when we are part of a supportive community. I am fortunate to belong to such a community---new rules for a new world.

Our New Families

What is the role of family today and what does the family look like? Are families purely those people related by blood, or is there something deeper beneath the surface that ties us and binds us to others? In my opinion these connections not drawn in blood can be infinitely more important and offer so much more.

These friends and lovers can be in our lives for years or just for a day and the connection or experience will impact our lives forever. In the past year I have experienced so many new levels of family. I have lived abroad with a group of people that I had never met and built bonds of friendship that few will ever understand. I have nurtured friendships with a group here in Denver so vastly different in ages, abilities, culture and beliefs; in the process my life has been changed, enriched and enlightened. I also was invited into the lives of family already in the works and shared and built a life with them; the experience took me to places in my soul that I had no idea existed and helped me find a future in who I am and who I can be to others.

These relationships have changed who I am and on a daily basis see these new families being built by friends and strangers alike. For you, who are people that make up your new families and how do you celebrate the new bonds of love and friendship?

what happens when love is incompatible with life

What are the lessons in a relationship where the love is strong and amazing, yet there are circumstances that will forever keep the two people apart? Is it past relationships that have repercussions into the new relationship, is it age, is it distance?

I have recently felt this loss, where the love was incredible, yet the situation would never be one where we could be together. With the realization that things could never work, I think I broke my own heart.

I have a friend, her true love and father to her children lives apart from them in a once war torn country. They are separated by distance and duty, their daughters will never really know their father and perhaps she will never know another true love.

It is sad for me to know and experience these stories of love lost and I wonder:

What is the lesson and what is gained from our inability to experience that reciprocated love every day?

Do Men Teach Men to be Better Men or Do Women?

I would like to know what other folks think about this. In part, because as any individual, my observations are limited to the circle and the community I am a part of and that usually in some way reflects what I believe.

My personal observation is that women teach men about women. And, they teach them how to treat women from a very young age. I have noted in my circle that boys raised by single women often are better gentlemen. Because single moms often expect their sons to share in household responsibilities they are more comfortable doing things that were once, and in some cases, considered women's work.

Beyond these superficial aspects of household contributions, which are nonetheless important, without the buffer of a husband, a son sees how women respond to life's victories and its challenges. Single parenting isn't easy and these boys often grow up with an appreciation of women's contributions. They see the emotional side of women and learn how they think. Often, if the relationship is healthy and the bond between parent and child strong, mutual growth and understanding occurs, both the mother and son become better people. Boundaries and communication abilities are established that sometimes a two parent family overlooks.

I know in my circle, some of the best young gentlemen where raised by single moms. What do you think?