Accept Less Instead of Expect More?

Ian, my friend, your wisdom weaves through piles of disappointments, stacked up by decades of wondering what happened to the greatness of a gentle "man". That quiet strength that holds the space for a woman to be her best self--thus reflecting the brightness of his best self.

I have to wonder why men and women are showing up to their relationships with their less than their best selves. Perhaps, the relationship we to have first is the relationship with ourself. Do women trust themselves to expect and get the best? Or, do we think this is as good as we can get? If so, at what age, what point in life, do we accept less instead of expect more?

I think too often, women are so afraid of being alone or maybe it is the dread shouldering the full responsibility of their lives whether as a student, career woman and/or parent, that we often end up accepting less than the best. Fear mixed with not thinking or knowing you deserve better might be at least a good starting point. Plus, we are just so good at making excuses for bad behavior.

Where are the expectations for men in a relationship?

Women should have the confidence to ask for a great man: a man who will dress well, open your car door or restaurant door for you, listen to you talk and hear what you are saying. I am not saying that men have dropped the ball, I am more saying that men have forgotten common courtesy and decent manners. As a man I can tell you that we have been let off the hook, there is no longer the expectation that we will come on a date acting as a gentleman, and when we do it is always a surprise. No one is holding us accountable for being a gentleman, and that is a shame because all women deserve to be swept off their feet and treated with great respect.